My Neighbour the Entertainer

I don’t want to brag, but it seems I’ve recently become the inspiration for a singer/song writer. He needs a little help with the melody, it’s always the same…and sometimes he has trouble fitting all his words in with his melody. Still, his lyrics are very creative and always about me.


He lives downstairs and had been there about a week and half before he began test driving his pieces with me. The first one I heard after arriving home from a morning run. It went a little something like this…

”I’m living under an elephant”

“Never knew anyone could walk so hard”

Here is where I point out that we live on the top floor of an old terrace building that has very creaky floorboards and a step down to the living area and another step down to the kitchen and bathroom. When we’re in a hurry, we have a tendency to launch off those steps and land with a thundering shudder. Our former neighbours were just too polite to mention it but there’s definitely room for improvement in our consideration of what lies beneath.

Difficult as it is to describe a tune, I’d say our lovely neighbour takes his influence from the likes of Bon Jovi and Aerosmith. However, and I learned this the hard way, he likes a bit of death metal when he hears me laughing at him and feels that I have missed the point…

“You’re so fucking annoying!!!”

Shouted with such growling aggression that I was silenced on the spot, and followed by some interesting percussion involving deliberate stomping and startling door slamming. Point taken, no need to upset the foundations…and what about the dude who lives under him? Huh?

It’s clear I’m living above a mad man, but what brand of crazy I’m dealing with here is yet to be determined. He has had more to say since the song but it’s been mostly gibberish with the occasional gravelly, emphatic “fuckin’” thrown in. Hopefully he’ll sing again…but I’m not going to hold my breath.


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